Baby Sick

One big surprise is the amount of time my baby is sick. This happens after every feed with most of it being excess milk as she has stuffed her face until she cant eat no more, and still continues.

Sometimes it is actual vomit which smells different and often leaves squares of what looks like curdled milk

Once she has been sick everything is ok and she will often go to sleep. I have been advised this is normal, especially around a growth spirt (note when on a growth spirt they feed every 30 minutes or so)

So what does this mean for you as a parent:

Firstly buy allot of muslin cloths, vests and sleep suits as you will be constantly mopping up sick, poo and wee (sometimes all together).

Secondly buy some more t shirts for yourself as sick, poo and even wee travels further than you would think

Thirdly buy lots of detergent (non bio of course) as your washing machine will never be off

Register for child benefits as even though its only £20 a week, every little helps

Moments that take your breath away

Apart from those moments of sheer panic (which occur often, for example I moved the baby upstairs whilst cutting onions as I panicked it would be too much for her eyes) you also get the moments of sheer joy and these have brought me to tears which for me is very unusual (the words missing heart have often been used)

I am not talking heavy crying in the corner type tears but a overwhelming sense of joy which makes your eyes teary

I have come quite fond of these moments as no matter what other problems I have going on at that moment all I can think about is her and how happy I am and as long as she is ok and healthy then everything will be ok  

These moments are over as quick as they began so embrace them and realise how lucky you are to be a father

Don't forget the wife

Its hard to not simply think about the baby all the time but its very important to remember about your partner. She has just given birth (with or without complications). As well as he physical trauma here is the mental realisation that she is the main person who will be responsible for the upbringing of the baby over the next 10 months (by this I don't mean don't help, its just my help will be limited to evenings and weekends as I have to return to work as well as she is he only one who can feed her at the moment)

As a loving husband / partner make sure shehas everything she needs i.e:

- Make sure she gets some exercise everyday to promote healing 

- get her some natural nipple cream

- make her meals as she is doing the same for the baby

- get some Bodedas (promotes healing in a bath)

- during the day take the lead in changing nappies, she will return the favour during the night

- if she asks for something, do it (no matter what it is)

- make sure you spend some time with her and show her some affection (this in no way means sex, remember what she has just pushed out of her body)

- try and introduce some normality (let her watch Britains got talent or let her do a hobby for an hour)

Visitors

Everyone wants to see the new baby and this in theory is great, however we found it quite exhausting.

Our initial idea was to stagger the visits to keep numbers down but this means everyday you have visitors, just not in great numbers. 

In the first week on a usual day it would take us until 1 or 2 pm to get downstairs (after several feeds, nappy changes and a bath). Visitors would come after this and often the baby would be asleep. The baby might wake up at some point which is nice for visitors but often she would immediately need feeding (frustrating for visitors as my wife and daughter disappear upstairs)

Visitors would usually leave at around or after tea time after seeing the baby and then me and the wife would spend time feeding and changing the baby before spending a little time with her whilst she is awake

When she goes back to sleep at 7 ish we can grab some tea and have a few hours before she wants feeding again and the night routine starts

Now for us this repeated everyday for a week so you never get anytime to either nap (due to no sleep) or maintain the house (clean, shop etc) and we ended up asking visitors to chip in

When we did finally get a free day we did not know what to do withour selves and sitting down and watching tv made us feel guilty

Visitors are great and its amazing to see everyone enjoying the new baby, however my advise is be firm with visitors (I don't mean shun them away but set some rules and expectations) and have a day off every few days to recover. Also ask them to help out with the daily chores as most will gladly help you out

Even more presents

You get allot of presents before the baby arrives and surprisingly this continues afterwards from nappies and hampers to cakes and cookies

It even gets to the point were its like a competition. One day I got 30 cupcakes and some cake pops of one relative, posted this on facebook and the next day I have a 12" home made cookie from another relative

I am not complaining in any sense of be word, I am simply overwhelmed at how generous people get towards the new orn baby

My advise enjoy this while it lasts as you will be skint for years to come :)

The first few days

Ok the first few days are so strange

Firstly its overwealming that you mow have to look after something 24/7 7 days a week

Secondly you will see if the baby is alright when they make any noise or if they make none at all

Thirdly your now on your own so doing everything for the first time is scary. It took us 3 days to build up the courage for a bath and 5 days to take the pram out for a spin

It gets easier quite quickly, I dont worry about her sounds or picking her up and I am confident to give her a bath or change a nappy on my own

My advise is just dig in and also set daily objectives like on day 2 give your baby a bath. This way by the end of he first week you will have conquered allot of fears

The right temperature

So its the first night home and we have an egg thermometer. This tells you the temperaure and glows a certain color: red for too hot, orange for too warm, yellow for ideal temperature and blue for too cold.

We got a leaflet about what to dress the baby in at certain temperatures, for example above 21 degrees you have a sleep suit, vest and sheet only.

The first night was a warn 23 degrees so we decided to leave the window open. It dropped to 19 in the bedroom which made me freezing but according to the sheet it was 1 blanket extra only. After about an hour our baby actually shivered so we scrapped the guide and wrapped her up

The next day we asked the midwife and the advise was golden, basically use your common sense. They always sleep in a vest and sleepsuit and these are like your pijamas. Now if your comfortable in bed with a blanket, she will so put a blanket on her. If its warm and you dont want you blanket put just a sheet and if your cold add a layer.

You can also feel the babies chest (not limbs or head) and if she is sweating / really hot then remove layers, if she is cold add layers

Also remember you baby will tell you if they are uncomfortable