PJ's

So newborns pretty much wear vests, sleep suits and nice looking outfits that are practical (have poppers for ease of nappy access)

However we have now added an actual set of Pajamas to Charlottes wardobe. These look great and add an extra cute factor but loose the poppers / nappy access

Worth it....hell yeh

Talking back

Charlotte is just over 3 months and she now can hold a decent baby conversation. Of course this makes no sense and is simply sounds, however she seems to give you a turn to make your sounds and then replies with hers.

This is amazingly cute and makes you wonder if they actually mean anything or are simply sounds. I like the idea that babies have their own language that adults cant understand :)

Baby TV

I always thought that I would have controll over the TV remote until Charlotte was 3 or so and then nikolodeon would be on 24/7, however to my surprise that day has come already (Charlotte is just over 3 months) with a channel dedicated to babies called Baby TV

It does however make her happy and as the silly voices and songs play she seems generally entertained. I think Charlotte may become a couch potato :)

Smelly nappies

One of the most surprising things about a newborn, especially a breast fed one is that their poo's don't  smell. This was a pleasant surprise as I was expecting to need a gas mask or strengthen my gag reflex to change a nappy. 

Unfortunately this does not last. I thought I would have until she went onto solids however this is not true and now at just over 3 months her shit stinks.

To add to this she only goes once a day for a number 2 and it seems to take all her concentration to do so (she will literally stop what she is doing and stare hard directly in front of her) and then you hear the rumble in her bottom followed by her smiles of relief.

When you look to see what the damage is there is always a shit load of it and your lucky if the nappy held it all in and often we have to change her outfit, clean out her belly button or even give her a bath.

If it is this bad now, I don't want to know what they will be like when she is on solids!

The miracle of the cot bed

Ok the last few months have been a blur. Firstly I have been averaging 3 hours sleep a night with the baby needing something every few hours. This effects everything you do and makes the weekly activities such as housework, shopping or visiting very difficult.

We have had allot of family help, especially when it comes to cleaning, washing and ironing and my advise would be to take this if possible as you wont get it done.

Going back to work has also been hard as trying to focus with not much sleep is hard, but surprisingly you manage.

It almost seemed like there was no end in sight and we tried various different ideas to get her to sleep more with no sucess.... until we tried the cot bed. To our surprise the first night in her new bed she slept for 5 hours, but surely this is a one off? However its been 7 nights and each night she sleeps for at leadt 6 hours.

This has had a massive impact as we are now more productive, get up earlier and generally have a more positive outlook during the day.

All I can say is when your child is out of the moses basket (12 weeks for us) then try a cot bed. They may look ridiculous in it but for us it has been the best thing we have done in weeks

Its normal....

Ok so there are many things you will not be told about having a baby (I guess if you did you might reconsider lol) and I am amazed at how much 'it is normal' is used. 

So far here is a few things we were worried about and have been told its normal

1) baby only cries when hungry and only one cry

2) baby has fed every 30 mins for 12 hours (cluster feeding)

3) baby wont settle after feeding (needs burping or has trapped gas)

4) baby has not slept more than 20 minute stretches in 48 hours

5) baby brings back up an obscene amount of milk after every feed

6) baby suddenly appearing purple due to purple cross patterns all over their body as shown in the picture (mottling) which is due to the fact babies develop their circulatory system over time and until then mottling can occur

Note the above are incidents which we rang the ward or we went to our gp, these did not occur constantly and at the same time. My advice here is to ring the ward or visit your gp if your worried at all,  but don't be surprised if its all normal

Who needs sleep

I did not truly understand what no sleep was until I became a dad. I knew what little sleep was as I often get up at 3am to do my 10hr commute to work to do a 6 hr shift but even this did not prepare me for how little sleep I would get with a baby.

The amazing thing about it is you continue on, I may only get 2hrs kip then go to work but I think be difference is when you look at your a baby its all worth it, its for a purpose.

My advise is don't worry about the sleep, your body copes well with it and it wont last forever (or so I have been told)

Oh the sleepless nights

The first few weeks were misleading and we managed to get 2 sets of 3 - 4 hour sleeps, however in the third and fourth week we barely got any sleep at all.

So what changed, well firstly her feeding. She went into what they call cluster feeding which is where they eat constantly and as if they have never been fed. This is to make the mother produce more milk in readiness for a growth spurt.

This feeding frenzy has several repercussion, firstly you will be up all night feeding and secondly when you do put her down she will have a shit load of gas. For us this meant as soon as she was lying flat she would groan and crunch her limbs up.

We have found several things to help the gas (and therefore you can get some sleep)

1) sit her up straight and rub her back

2) you tube burping a baby

3) slowly rub the stomach clockwise

4) take her for a walk in the pram or drive in he car (vibrations seem to settle the stomach)

5) swaddle the baby (we un swaddle after 10 mins due to scare of SIDS)

And yes a 12hr feeding frenzy is apparently normal

Baby Sick

One big surprise is the amount of time my baby is sick. This happens after every feed with most of it being excess milk as she has stuffed her face until she cant eat no more, and still continues.

Sometimes it is actual vomit which smells different and often leaves squares of what looks like curdled milk

Once she has been sick everything is ok and she will often go to sleep. I have been advised this is normal, especially around a growth spirt (note when on a growth spirt they feed every 30 minutes or so)

So what does this mean for you as a parent:

Firstly buy allot of muslin cloths, vests and sleep suits as you will be constantly mopping up sick, poo and wee (sometimes all together).

Secondly buy some more t shirts for yourself as sick, poo and even wee travels further than you would think

Thirdly buy lots of detergent (non bio of course) as your washing machine will never be off

Register for child benefits as even though its only £20 a week, every little helps

Moments that take your breath away

Apart from those moments of sheer panic (which occur often, for example I moved the baby upstairs whilst cutting onions as I panicked it would be too much for her eyes) you also get the moments of sheer joy and these have brought me to tears which for me is very unusual (the words missing heart have often been used)

I am not talking heavy crying in the corner type tears but a overwhelming sense of joy which makes your eyes teary

I have come quite fond of these moments as no matter what other problems I have going on at that moment all I can think about is her and how happy I am and as long as she is ok and healthy then everything will be ok  

These moments are over as quick as they began so embrace them and realise how lucky you are to be a father

Don't forget the wife

Its hard to not simply think about the baby all the time but its very important to remember about your partner. She has just given birth (with or without complications). As well as he physical trauma here is the mental realisation that she is the main person who will be responsible for the upbringing of the baby over the next 10 months (by this I don't mean don't help, its just my help will be limited to evenings and weekends as I have to return to work as well as she is he only one who can feed her at the moment)

As a loving husband / partner make sure shehas everything she needs i.e:

- Make sure she gets some exercise everyday to promote healing 

- get her some natural nipple cream

- make her meals as she is doing the same for the baby

- get some Bodedas (promotes healing in a bath)

- during the day take the lead in changing nappies, she will return the favour during the night

- if she asks for something, do it (no matter what it is)

- make sure you spend some time with her and show her some affection (this in no way means sex, remember what she has just pushed out of her body)

- try and introduce some normality (let her watch Britains got talent or let her do a hobby for an hour)

Visitors

Everyone wants to see the new baby and this in theory is great, however we found it quite exhausting.

Our initial idea was to stagger the visits to keep numbers down but this means everyday you have visitors, just not in great numbers. 

In the first week on a usual day it would take us until 1 or 2 pm to get downstairs (after several feeds, nappy changes and a bath). Visitors would come after this and often the baby would be asleep. The baby might wake up at some point which is nice for visitors but often she would immediately need feeding (frustrating for visitors as my wife and daughter disappear upstairs)

Visitors would usually leave at around or after tea time after seeing the baby and then me and the wife would spend time feeding and changing the baby before spending a little time with her whilst she is awake

When she goes back to sleep at 7 ish we can grab some tea and have a few hours before she wants feeding again and the night routine starts

Now for us this repeated everyday for a week so you never get anytime to either nap (due to no sleep) or maintain the house (clean, shop etc) and we ended up asking visitors to chip in

When we did finally get a free day we did not know what to do withour selves and sitting down and watching tv made us feel guilty

Visitors are great and its amazing to see everyone enjoying the new baby, however my advise is be firm with visitors (I don't mean shun them away but set some rules and expectations) and have a day off every few days to recover. Also ask them to help out with the daily chores as most will gladly help you out

Even more presents

You get allot of presents before the baby arrives and surprisingly this continues afterwards from nappies and hampers to cakes and cookies

It even gets to the point were its like a competition. One day I got 30 cupcakes and some cake pops of one relative, posted this on facebook and the next day I have a 12" home made cookie from another relative

I am not complaining in any sense of be word, I am simply overwhelmed at how generous people get towards the new orn baby

My advise enjoy this while it lasts as you will be skint for years to come :)

The first few days

Ok the first few days are so strange

Firstly its overwealming that you mow have to look after something 24/7 7 days a week

Secondly you will see if the baby is alright when they make any noise or if they make none at all

Thirdly your now on your own so doing everything for the first time is scary. It took us 3 days to build up the courage for a bath and 5 days to take the pram out for a spin

It gets easier quite quickly, I dont worry about her sounds or picking her up and I am confident to give her a bath or change a nappy on my own

My advise is just dig in and also set daily objectives like on day 2 give your baby a bath. This way by the end of he first week you will have conquered allot of fears

The right temperature

So its the first night home and we have an egg thermometer. This tells you the temperaure and glows a certain color: red for too hot, orange for too warm, yellow for ideal temperature and blue for too cold.

We got a leaflet about what to dress the baby in at certain temperatures, for example above 21 degrees you have a sleep suit, vest and sheet only.

The first night was a warn 23 degrees so we decided to leave the window open. It dropped to 19 in the bedroom which made me freezing but according to the sheet it was 1 blanket extra only. After about an hour our baby actually shivered so we scrapped the guide and wrapped her up

The next day we asked the midwife and the advise was golden, basically use your common sense. They always sleep in a vest and sleepsuit and these are like your pijamas. Now if your comfortable in bed with a blanket, she will so put a blanket on her. If its warm and you dont want you blanket put just a sheet and if your cold add a layer.

You can also feel the babies chest (not limbs or head) and if she is sweating / really hot then remove layers, if she is cold add layers

Also remember you baby will tell you if they are uncomfortable

After care

No one really tells you what happens in the hospital. I thought that you would go on, have the baby and be out in a few hours and even with my wifes complications I thought one night.

The truth is you will be in a minimum of 1 night and you know what its worth it. You get good food (3 courses at lunch and dinner), you have midwifes at the touch of a button, you're with mothers in the same situation and you learn allot.

My wife wanted to breast feed so they said they could only discharge her once her tests were cleared and she had done 3 or 4 successful feeds on her own.

I must saythe level of care she got from the birth to the following few days exceeded my expecrations and I still ring the ward (as its 24/7) if I have any queries

My advice here is dont think you have to be home straight away, enjoy the support and learn the basic as it will make your home life allot easier

OMG I want to break my phone

One of the most stressfull things about the birth is that everyone wants to communicate with you, from saying congratulations to wanting an update or scheduling a visit

Now over the few days when my wife went into labour to being disharged I must have had a few hundred txt and I spent alot of time replying rather than enjoying the moments

Note if you're going to update people do it with enough information. I told people the baby was born and that my wife had complications which made everyone worry, my next update was 6 hours later which made people worry for too long.

My advise is send out a bulk update but be thorough, then turn off your phone and only use it several times a day and dont worry about replying to congratulations messages

My phone now is permanently on silent and I check it 4 or 5 times a day so I can simply enjoy the moments

Rounds with mike Tyson

I had written a long post on the birth of my daughter however I think I will leave it un posted. I certainly don't want to scare new parents and the post might do just that as it was my thoughts at the time.

In hind sight it was a good birth, and it gave me my wonderful daughter however one thing that took me by surprise was how different the baby looked to what I expected.

Firstly the baby was very swolen and looked like a fat baby (which I guess she was). The second is she was a bit battered and bruised to the point she looked like she had done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson.

You will love your baby with all of your being, however I was glad after a few days when the swelling had gone down and the baby lost some weight and thus looked like what I expected a baby to look like.

I may be biased but to me she is a beautiful baby

The lead up

Hi

Again a little while since my last post but things generally slow down in the third trimester to the point were you sometimes forget your having a baby

My wife in the last few weeks (36 plus) has become really tired again and can only waddle for around 20 minutes before needing a long rest. Most my days are spend making sure she is ok and tidying up. Often I would come in from work and all that was in the cupboard was sweets and she developed more of a sweet tooth (obviously)

Most the stuff is prepared, we need to pack the overnight bag, get some last things from Mothercare and were ready.....ish

My wife is starting to panic about the birth but is also getting excited for the little one arriving 

Ps we are still thinking on a name

Panic over pyjamas

So me and the wife spent half a day googling what we would need to put the baby in to sleep at night. We are currently moving home and therefore goong to be using the moses basket for the first few months.

There is not one way to do things, nor one website which says you need x y and z and you do this and our done.

We gathered you put the baby in a sleep suit or equivalent but then what? Which balnkets do u use? how many blankets? How do you know if there too warm?

One website was on about swaddling were you get a sheet or shawl ad wrap you baby like a mummy so it cant move an then wrap more blankets if its cold.

The second website suggested swaddling increased the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and advised simply tucking a blankets (add layers as appropriate) around the baby under the  armpits and tuck under mattress leaving there hands outside the blanket so they can move (scratch mittens are then used) an if using a cot place them at the bottom so they cant wriggle underneath them.

So after hours of research we finally decided for the later and ordered some moses blanket sheets to put over the mattress, some cellular blankets as its the summer and their cooler and we already have many sleep suits. 

So hopefully the new baby will sleep like a rock while we don't sleep at all due to worrying we got her pyjamas wrong

Shit I am having a baby

All of a sudden it is becoming real that i am having a baby. You think his would be obvious but you forget.

It came after the anti natal appointment when they showed us around the delivery ward and you see the bed with all its features for birth and you suddenly realise your wife has to give birth and your going to have a child

At this stage my wife just wants the baby to be here so she can stop worrying so much (i don't think this will change much after the birth) and also to be able to do more as she is able to do less and less as the weeks go buy

We have most of the suff we need now and technically are ready, but there are often times when I go shit, I am having a baby.

London is no place for a pregnant woman

Me and the mrs had a trip to London recently. We had booked it about a year ago to take my niece to a concert and even though my wife was 29 weeks pregnant at the time we thought nothing of it.

The train down was nice and relaxing but as soon as we got there it all changed. I went into over protective mode and was on edge all of the time. On the tube I had to run on and reserve a seat as no one would offer, and people were so rushed and pushy I was so concerned about people bumping the bump.

When we walked places she needed to rest allot of the time but I was so tired from being over protected I enjoyed the breaks.

One plus side you can walk in anywhere and use the toilets if your pregnant and as the partner you can too. This is great especially when you see other people being turned away.

The trip was enjoyable but in hindsight I should have cancelled and should have opted for a few lazy days, especially as I will never get lazy days once the baby is born

Looking good with the baby

I am not one for being trendy but for some reason I really want some good looking Dad accessories and these may end up on my birthday list.

The first item is a Dad bag which is like a trendy (cloth or leather) man bag but slightly bigger to accommodate the necessary accessories of a baby (nappies, cream, lotion, action man etc). I have found a few at http://www.dadgear.com/ which looks like my work one and I think it would be make me look like a dad with a plan.

The second item is a baby carrier. This is basically a manly sling and by that I mean more like a titanium rucksack. It straps on like a rucksack and hold your baby either in front or behind you (in front for me of fear of falling backwards). They look sturdy but best of all they free up your hands for shopping, playstation or just because a mans hands need to be free. They vary in price but Mother-care seem to have a good range so as will start there.

I may not buy any of these as a plastic bag and my expensive pram should realistically do for my outside ventures but I am starting to desire more trendy clothes and accessories for when I am a dad about town.

To Faint or not to Faint that will be the question!

I am only human and so I have many flaws such as my love for beer, ice cream, movies with Paul Rudd in and music by Justin Beaver (I know I should be shot, and if it helps I do have some manly Metallica on my iPhone as well).

One flaw has me worried in particular and that is that I am squeamish. For most of my life this has not been a problem, I have collapsed a few times but generally I know the signs and some deep breaths and sugary goods can prevent me from passing out.

What worries me is the fact that the birth will contain blood as well a my partner screaming in pain (or at me for collapsing). I reckon blood wise I will be ok as my mam accidentally cut her wrist (with a plant pot believe it or not) a while back and when I got to her there was allot of blood (including some pulsing out of her wrist) and I did some first aid and got her to the hospital and it was only when I had to fill in the paperwork at the hospital and had time to think about it that I started to feel faint.

I also worry that I will worry about it so much that it will be a self fulfilling prophecy, however to make it easier on me and my wife we have asked her sister to be in the room as well to step in should I need to collapse.

Only time will tell how this one goes?

Heartbeat

To date my favourite part of the baby so far has been the heartbeat. The scan pictures are great but as I mentioned previously they did not move me in the way I expected. The heartbeat on the other hand to me is amazing and fills me with a sense of joy each time.

I have the audio file on my phone and I often listen to it at work or at home and it always puts a smile on my face (sad I know) and Its weird because to anyone else it's just a fast heartbeat. There is nothing special about the sound and could be confused with a small animal heartbeat, however I can't get enough of it.

I don't believe in God but if we were designed we were designed well as when it comes to your own children even the most boring of things becomes interesting.

For all you fathers to be, if you cannot be there ask your wife to record the heartbeat on her phone and send you it where ever you are (I was in another country).

Scares so far

Every pregnancy will have its scares and it would take a while to list them all so I am just going to tell you about some of the ones I have experienced.

Squishy Tummy - at a certain stage the bump becomes a proper bump the mum can be proud of. It's rounder and is firm and gives that feeling of yes I am pregnant. My wife's bump was like this for a few weeks and all of a sudden one day it went squishy. Any sudden change at this stage will worry the mother (I must admit I was rather worried). Fortunately this one can be researched on google and this is the result of the baby starting to turn around in the bump in preparation for the birth. What makes the bump solid is how much and where the baby is pushing out of the bump and therefore as it moves around the bump will actually change shape.

Freezing - as the third trimester develops you will get use to the baby kicking regularly and you come to expect kicks at certain points. This is usually when your being lazy as movement on your part actually can rock the baby to sleep. Due to several reasons including how much amniotic fluid is around the baby where it kicks it can suddenly stop. This is very scary as you automatically assume something is very wrong. My wife got so scared on the second day that she got a midwives appointment during work to verify everything was ok (which it was). This hit me hard as I was away with work and could not be there to help (its hard hearing anyone cry knowing there is nothing you can do, never mind the mother of your child).

My advice for any parents to be is to not panic. The midwife service is excellent (you can ring anytime) and I would advise using them for any panic situation even if its just to give price of mind.

What's new? Everything and nothing!

It's been a while since my last post but nothing much has changed since my last post yet everything has. It's a slow process but I have seen some changes in me as we'll as my wife.

First off the bump has got much bigger from a few weeks ago. This new size is having an effect on how much my wife can do for example if we walk anywhere we have to stop allot and she is getting more tired much like the first trimester. All these are pretty text book changes for the mother but what about me?

The first thing I noticed is I often now well up a little when something reminds me I am having a daughter. This could be watching an advert for one born every minute to reading a book which mentions a daughter. This is strange for me as I don't cry often (I have even been accused of having a whole where my heart is) however it only lasts a moment and I can often pass it off as an issue with my contact lenses.

The second thing I have noticed is I treat my baby as a normal person, such as saying hello when I come in from work to talking to it before I go to bed. You would think such things would make you feel silly but it feels so natural and reading facts such as the hearing is now developed and sounds at this stage will be familiar once it is born

The final thing is the concept of looking after someone else and never having free time again is becoming less scary and even desirable. I think as it is a long process I am now ready for my daughter to be here and almost wish she was here now.

Slow

Ok so not much has happened in the last month.

We ordered our cot and Moses basket from mammas and pappas in the sale and the website said it would be delivered in march which is good and gives us time to sort out where I am going to put a piano, electric guitar and my work desk.....well it would have been but I got an email after 3 days saying it had been dispatched and so it sits in our hallway downstairs.

I am trying to figure out how to make do with so little space and I don't think it will be too bad. A crying baby will put all this into perspective and room may not matter too much.

We have also bought our pram from Mothercare (Greco evo) with carrycot and hopefully this won't get delivered for a few months to allow us to sort out the nursery and the pram can go in the Hallway (currently blocked by cot bed)

My daughter (feels weird saying that) kicks now on a night and on a lunch time and you can often see the kick as well as feel it. This is great and fills me with joy every time which is weird as it does not involve alcohol or a playstation :)

My wife's bump is getting bigger and soon she will not be able to drive and I am curious how she will cope with me being away Monday to Thursday. Only time will tell.

It's all starting to be real and sometimes I freak out (in my head only) for a minute as nothing will ever be the same, but then excitement kicks in and I am all Jolly again (to the annoyance of my wife)

I thought we had made a good don't in the things we need, however just made a list and its HUGE, oh well I still have 3 months.

On that note I must say it is a slow process, 6 months in and it still feels a lifetime away, oh how naive I am!

The first kick

Last night was the first 'kick' experience I had. As always I was having my nightly belly stroke and listen when this thud came from within my wife's belly and I felt the kick raise my cheek.

The baby must have been uncomfortable as in quick successions more kicks came.

This was a great experience as it is one of those that remind you there is a growing person inside and it is alive and kicking - it's so easy to procrastinate with 'baby' stuff as not much has changed apart from my wife's bump and sometimes you even forget your having a baby.

The baby after this must have got comfortable as no more movement occurred that night, however it was enough and I went to bed with a big grin on my face :)

The little things

It's weird before the pregnancy if your wife's belly got allot bigger and she started being all kinds of moody you would probably say stop being moody and loose some weight (well you would think it at least). However when your wife is pregnant its a great thing and you find yourself loving the little changes including the bigger belly (and boobs lol) and my wife even has developed a few faint hairs which I also find cute (weird I know)

Not only that but you find yourself doing strange things, for example before I go to bed I always stroke the belly and have a listen. I know the baby can't feel the stroking and I won't be able to hear anything but I do it anyway, and I love it.

Another weird thing is you become more protective of your partner now there is two (or more). I am a little more nervous when my wife drives on her own (ever day) and when we are out I am looking for hazards and making sure I go down steps first (or last if going up) etc. It's like I have gone into a protective overdrive mode.

All in all I am loving every change that is occurring, no matter how weird. It's an unusual sensation as you do little weird things (like stroke the belly or talk to the bump) without even thinking.

Buy buy buy

So no we know the sex of the baby (a girl) it seems like a good time to go out and buy some nice baby girl clothes. Could not be simpler I hear you say......wrong!

First of all you have to guess newborn clothes as they come in sizes such a tiny baby for up 6 pounds etc. This means you could run the risk of buying lots of normal newborn clothiers (up-to 10 pounds apparently) and if you have a larger baby then it's all for nothing.

The second thing which you must keep reminding yourself if the time of year it is. The bay clothes come in stages I.e first 3 months, 3 to 6 months etc, so it's no use buying a very warm thick outfit when the baby will be born in June.

You must also remind yourself that in some shops tiny baby clothes cost more than the clothes your wearing and even though there so cute, there is a limit to your spending.

Once you have the above sorted in your mind its a wonderful experience and me and the misses went through next, mammas and papas and mother care and bough a select few items we thought were the best of the bunch.

We have also started getting clothes as gifts from other people and I have the feeling our little girl is going to be spoilt for choice when getting ready on a morning.

Do you want to know the sex of the baby?

Today is the second scan (and for most people their last) to check for certain health issues and if you want to find out the sex of the baby.

These scans are quite unusual. Firstly there is no sound so you feel like your watching a silent movie and secondly they work on depth and therefore picture of the baby often is unclear and if the baby moves part of it on the scan will disappear.

The first part of the scan I was very nervous because they take measurements to determine health problems (which I understand) but she did this in complete silence so naturally all I could think was 'is everything alright', 'why is she not saying anything'.

There was a few more views on this scan than last time, including watching the blood flow in the heart chambers (quite cool) and a close up of the face which shows up the eyes like polo's giving a certain terminator feel and it is weird to see the midwife really push on the belly and seeing the baby react.

Once the measurements were done the midwife was very chatty and goes through all the tests she had been doing from checking the spine to fluid in the stomach.

After this I finally relaxed and she informed us (as we asked) that we were having a little girl. I know it's not 100% and it was confirmed by spotting 3 white dots which represent the woman parts on a not so clear scan picture, but it won't matter and if it comes out a boy then it can wear pink for a year (no one will know)

Like the last scan it did not hit me as much as hearing the heartbeat and adding sound to the scan would enhance the experience more. However I have a big smile on my face knowing I am going to have a little daughter.

Heartbeat

Ok I decided to re write this post after comments that it was just too short.

So today I have just been to the 17 week midwife appointment but before I go into detail I will explain that midwives appointments are sort of the optional appointments for blokes and your partner will let you off with not being there.

I have been to all of them so far as my work is flexible and up to date they are like military operations. Your in on time (very unusual for our doctors), a few things are said, a few quick forms filled in, blood taken, pre done urine sample handed over and your out of there.

I like attending as I don't want to miss out on anything but so far they have not been anything special, however in today's appointment we were hoping to hear the heart beat.

Now it surprised me that not every midwife does this as not hearing a heartbeat can scare parents too be, however the midwife put on a portable speaker and our child's heartbeat was clear and loud.

This was incredible (I enjoyed it more than the scan picture). The sound was loud and fast and I was instantly in the best mood I would be in all day.

If you get the chance to go I would highly recommend it as it is something I won't forget in a while.

Addicted to baby stuff

Ok me and my wife are going through a crazy stage in which we love to look at all the baby clothiers and cuddly toys in a shop. It's frustrating as we have no idea if its a boy or a girl (and everything is either pink or blue) but we don't care.

So far we have baught a few things which were too cute to resist.

I love this time as I am so excited but I need to remind myself to stop staring at babies as people may think I have a problem. You will find this occurs all the time and usually after you have done something productive, for example after visiting mammas and papas for a pram we noticed (and often stared at) other people's prams and how their babies were in them. This is great research but people are not too fond of other people, who don't have kids, string in their direction.

Cot or cot beds

I always though you got a cot and that was it, oh how I was wrong. Today I have learnt that you can get cots but most stores will push the cot beds (as in they will have 20 or so cot beds and 3 cots).

Cot last a year or so and then you upgrade to a normal bed, cot beds last until there 4 or 5 and then you get a normal bed. There are pros and cons about both and there is not right or wrong answer. Again my wife instantly disliked cots and so it was cot beds or nothing (at least the choice is narrowed down).

My wife loved a solid oak cot but I cannot justify paying £480 on a cot bed without the mattress (demonstrated in the picture below). It's not that we could not afford it, it's just the cot would be better made than my bed which seems wrong.

If you are going to buy a cot from mammas and papas (and they have some beautiful stuff) be aware they make there cots 1 cm smaller in width and length so you have to buy the mattress from them. There sheets and duvets will also fit better but they cost a fortune (there duvet sets for the cots are around £90) so make sure any products from other shops you like will actually fit.

So far we are undecided, but currently there is a good sale on and you can get a cot bed, changing unit over the cot and storage drawer under cot for £280 which is a good deal, we just need to see if other sheets and duvets from their places would fit.

Ps the highlight of my day was asking the assistant in mammas and papas about them making their cots smaller. If you get a chance to do this I would as their facial expressions are great.

Pram, Pushcair or travel system

Ok the first major stress I have encountered is what to buy to cart the baby around. The biggest challenge is choice and I feel it's going to be like this all of the time.

So you can get a pram but this only last up to 9 months, you can get pushchairs for after the pram is redundant or you can get a travel system which transforms into both. This ease of purchasing one item for both comes at a cost and your wife will instantly choose this and dismiss any other option. My advise here is go with it and choose a travel system as it is inevitable.

You think once you have decided to go with the travel system (and you will) it would be easy but then the battle begins between you (cheaper the better) and your wife (most expensive the better). After several weekends going between mother care and mammas and papas and almost knowing the staff on a first name basis my advise would be decide what you want in a system. For us it was that my wife could easily operate the travel system (put up and down, mobility, and easily change the parts). We ended up choosing the Greco Evo from mother care as the one hand fold facility is excellent and you can rotate it on the spot. Second was the zoom system from mammas and papaya in the sale but my wife spent 15 minutes trying to fold it down and failed.

I also have now come to terms with the fact this baby is going to cost allot of money, but I am also starting to not care as I can't wait for it to be in my life and I think this realisation is important and will help me through what's to come.

Catch up

I decided to start this blog in the second trimester of my wife's pregnancy with the sole reason that things are getting more stressful thinking about what to buy, how to re arrange my small 2 bed house to accommodate a newborn etc and I thought I would blog about my experiences to help guide other soon to be parents with their experiences.

To set the scene I am a man in my late twenties who has been married for 3 years and decided to have children (logical step) and after 2 months of trying the test was blue. At this point I was slightly disappointed as I was hoping for more practise, however it was nice to know everything was working and I was so happy that we were going to have a child.

This news is like being engaged, you announce it, everyone is happy but then you realise you actually have to wait 9 months for the arrival of the baby and that's nearly a whole year so you immediately go back to normal.

The doctors appointment is not like what you see in the movies. You walk in and hand over the urine and then within a minute they confirm the news which is great then they hand you lots of paperwork and send you to the pharmacy and ask you to come back in 3 months and the only assurance your actually pregnant is a due date (16th June 2013 for us)

The first trimester was very strange. My wife felt sick most days but never was sick which made her go completely off food. She lost around 6 pounds and was tired all the time, especially after work. Now what this meant for me was I had to look after my wife and do most of the work around the home. She got so tired I would go to make a cup of tea and when I came back she would be asleep on the couch. This does give you allot of time on your own so my advise would be do your chores straight after work and then take up a hobby as you can spend a few hours whilst your wife is asleep doing what you want (for me I enjoyed my PS3)

The first trimester flies over and you will be so busy (and your partner asleep) and even though this is a big change it still feel unreal and you often question if you actually are having a baby.

The end of the first trimester is great as you get the scan of your baby. This moment for me was not as monumental as I thought, it was nice but not as moving as I thought as the scan half resembles a baby and half an alien. This combined with the fact it is still so small still makes it feel surreal. Don't get me wrong it's still amazing and sharing this with family is great but there still is a long way to go, you don't know if its a boy or a girl (you have to wait until 20 weeks) and my wife still looks like she always has, no baby bump.

So where am I now, we'll my wife is 17 weeks pregnant. Her appetite is fully back and she no longer feels sick. She has a cute baby bump we she thinks is fat (she always says it looks like she has a cider belly), either way I love it. We now enter a realm of stress as we are now starting to look at everything we will need and what we need to do to adjust when the baby comes which is why I started this blog